I hope to enhance your standing within the community and improve your ability to be all you want to be. Being an honest man, as I’d hope you’d want for your hallowed priests position, I must admit to not fitting in the normal community. I have sinned and repented. I am holy and admit my faults, thus being granted forgiveness by repenting. I was misunderstood when I was a Phys. Ed. teacher in middle school. I choose to teach good hygiene, a good and godly thing. Ever since the church decided to overturn its washing is a sin thing (which lead to many deaths) and teach cleanliness is next to godliness. So I was washing this boys balls in the showers, gently and giving him a little blow dry and all hell broke loose. I was just teaching good hygiene (you may have seen me screaming this on the news, I was known as the “Hygiene Child Molester” not very catchy, but it caught on)… Anyway, it appears your organization is custom-made for my particular skill set. You guys think out of the box. So do I. I don’t even think about boxes, I’m all about improving the lives of small boys through love. Don’t get me wrong, women are necessary to bring in more small boys, but holy cow, they bleed a lot and don’t die. When I was a Boy Scout Leader I had an incident, which was much misunderstood. I won’t spend the time telling you about it since the little tattle-tale grew to be a writer and the damn thing turned-up on Saturday Night Live. Starring Alec Baldwin as me and Adam Sandler as the little twerp. I understand you know how to deal with my particular type of situation, using lateral movements to new virginal territories for me to exploit… my talents. You are also willing to pay huge sums of money to those who misunderstand my love. Thus buying their understanding. I feel I’d be a good fit for your organization. I look forward to your call on my “calling”… peace be with you. I hope to get a piece myself, God willing. Thank you for your consideration, Bob buy unique gifts at Zazzle |
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