Dumb Criminals...

They seem to make good fodder.

I've had a couple encounters with stupid criminals I thought I'd share with you:

I was just a child when we came home from a vacation to find our has been broken in ,and out, of.

It seems the burglars had broken in through a window and used a crowbar to break out of our house.

Fuck, this TV is heavy. Open the door.

Sure, hang on a sec, lemmee, get the crowbar. Argh, it's coming. Fuck almost there.

Why not turn the latch? We're inside already.

There, I got it... let's go.

The crowbar was found in a suspect van and matched to the indentations in our door... the two went to jail.

***

I was working at a video store. We always had police around, since I hired a lot of kids with mothers and fathers who were police. One, I remember fondly, has a mother who is a judge and a father on the police commission.

It wasn't a good area, so having police around seemed a good idea.

This particular night one of the father/police pulled up in his patrol car to check-in on us, parking next to a pizza delivery car.

He called for back-up. Upon arrival of back-up, he came inside.

When two dudes rented movies and went out to the car they were arrested.

Why? The car was reported stolen a few days prior. A clearly marked pizza delivery car with pizza heating unit in back.

Dude, should we dump the car?

Dude, it's still got gas in it.

Oh, yeah dude, cool gas.

We'll dump it when we run out of gas dude.

Cool dude.

That was the exact reason they gave the police for hanging on to the stolen car.

Dude they took my belt and my socks and the floor in this cell is cold dude.

Shut-up dude.