Only the essentials will be taxed fairly. We have moved to unfairly weight the taxing of cigarettes, wine, liquor, soda and beer. These are not essential, they are luxuries.

Books are not essential, only those books listed in the forthcoming: These Books are Essential by Your Government will be from luxury taxes.

One car is all you need and we will tell you what car: The People's Wagon. If you wish to purchase something more luxurious you will pay the luxury tax. Further, if you wish to have more than one car per person, you will pay a 50% glutton tax.

Cigarette smoking is an addiction, we recognize this to the extent we recognize we have you addicted and can tax at will. We cannot afford to have you quit, due to the amount of taxes you pay. If you do quit, you will pay more on the other luxury items, so you may as well keep smoking.

You need work clothes and a pre-determined amount of leisure wear. Anything over the pre-determined amount of clothing will be considered luxury. You must inventory your clothing so your tax can be determined.

Shoes: No more than 7 pairs at one time. Then luxury tax.

Fat people: No more fat people. Your height and build determine acceptable limits to weight. All pounds over weight will be taxed.

Restaurants are a luxury. Shopping will be done in State approved outlets.

Food will be rationed as we see fit. No more Twinkies or snack food of any kind. McDonald's will be closed immediately. All stores not conforming to new codes will be closed as well. No over-serving fat people we must break their addiction for the betterment of the people.

Fat people must report to gulag fat spa for inspection of fat and health care options, of which there is only one option: Get unfat.

Update to smoking policy: The State has decreed everyone must smoke and drink alcohol. The cost of which will be deducted from your checks.

Everyone will have a job, you will be told where to report.

No spontaneous breaking into songs not approved by the National Song Approval Board. Experessions of joy are frowned upon.

Hobbies have been determined to be of little benefit to the state. We provide hobbies as we see fit. Anyone not liking their hobby can feel free to call 1-800-IWANTTOGOTOGULAG.

Relaxation chambers filled with calming gasses will be available to those especially troubled by these changes.

"My Life" the wondrous book by Adolph Hitler will be provided. This is required reading and you will be quizzed by your friendly neighborhood storm trooper. These are people that look for storms and will alert you if they feel a storm is brewing. They are also troopers.

Feel free to inform them of any unessential goods or prohibited hobbies your neighbors may be involved in.

We will be installing millions of cameras for your safety. We will immediately be able to determine if you need our help.

More to follow.

Think Essential, be Essential!

Update to approved saying: We think so you don't have to. Comrade...