Like any divorce, love and hate ride the same train ready to get off at any stop.
The conductor hollered, "This stop: Love and Hate disembark on Lambeau Field."
Both sides feeling wronged, this was going to get ugly... I am the child caught in the middle of an UGLY divorce.
Even Hitler was displeased with Favre signing with the Vi-queens:
Evidently I was the only one who watched the first meeting between these two teams.
Brett Favre had all day to throw, their kicker kept us pinned deep in their territory.
Our special teams played like they were special-needs people. Aaron Rodgers was beaten to a pulp and still we had a chance to win.
Here's what I would've worked-on for the second game:
Tackle people wearing purple.
Special teams units have only one thing to do. Stop the opposing teams
runner from running. If you can do it deep in their territory with a
little panache, so much the better.
Punters need to punt the ball farther or admit we can't tackle and kick it into an open area.
Kickers need to kick the ball deeper. Or we should get people who can.
Field goal kickers: Kick the ball through those big fucking yellow posts please.
For the love of spam (A Hormel Product that feeds the troops), protect Aaron Rodgers. Quick passes gashed the Vi-queens in the first game, yet we went back to 47-step drops and let Aaron get lambasted. Good work!
By definition "Receivers" receive (catch ball). Most did a great job... someone dropped a gumball in the endzone.
Cut-back on Penalties.
George Patton said he didn't like to pay for the same real estate
twice. I said cutback on penalties because there are good penalties...
use your large melons well.
Blocking would be nice. Run the ball
or a screen or anything to ruin the timing of the opposition's pass
rush... Call and tell them their mother passed away if you have to.
Get great looking or really obese cheerleaders wearing no panties. If you're an offensive linemen: Tell them you have a communicable disease...
At the very least: distract them with a sock puppet.
Or watch the tapes and get help where necessary so I don't have to fly back to Wisconsin to attend Aaron's funeral... next week.
Brett Favre still has a gun and we gave him all day.
It wouldn't matter if the best defensive backfield ever assembled
played for the Packers... Given time, a mediocre QB would slice and
dice'm. This is Brett Favre, a legendary master-chef preparing a feast of sitting duck.
"Must I suffer the slings and arrows"... of my beloved Brett Favre carving my heart out with a spoon?"
Et too Brettus?
The silver lining was Aaron Rodgers once again brilliant
performance in the face of overwhelming odds. The "odds" being foaming
at the mouth, man-mountains, raining down upon him.
Tackle more better.
Block somebody
Run away from enemy on offense or into enemy on defense .
Run plays like real men have sex: quickly and selfishly.
Kick ball gooder.
The
schizophrenia that was my Sunday need not be so painful. I can root for
both my beloved Packers and the Brett of my youth without pain.
As long as Brett plays well and loses to the Packers.
Sunday,
every time he faded back to pass, I saw my heart in his hands. With
razor sharp precision he threw my heart downfield and it was grasped in
the hand of my enemy. I watched the enemy celebrate in the end zone by taking bites from my still-beating heart...
To my beloved Green Bay Packers: Please stop the Vi-queens reign of terror.
My achy-breaky just can't seem to understand.